“Always forgive your enemies…
nothing annoys them so much.”
– Oscar Wilde
“I’m just so angry at him”, said the smart C-suite executive.
A few years ago, this accomplished business woman was in my office and she was hugely de-motivated because of the behaviour of her CEO.
They had, in their mind, behaved in a way that was against her values, and the way she liked to treat people.
As she explained her point of view, it did seem like she had a point.
And now she was questioning whether the business was the place for her future.
But that wasn’t the main problem.
No, the main problem was the level of anger that she was holding onto.
And she had allowed it to really distort her mood, mindset and as a result her focus. And things like her decision making ability, communication and productivity were compromised because of her inner reaction. In fact her own team were now asking if she was alright!
On the face of it, she was entitled to be annoyed. But by holding onto the feeling, she had compromised her own clarity and her mindset had tanked.
I suggested something that at the time was a little bit left of field…
“Forgive him”, I said.
“You’re the one who’s losing now because you’re allowing this to colour your mood. Which means that everyone around you, your team and your core relationships, will be affected. Plus you won’t have the clarity you seek.”
She looked at me in silence and weeks later admitted that, in that moment, she thought I had gone too woo-woo… 🙂
But the next day she sent me a message to say that my words had struck a nerve. And she knew it was the right thing to do. So she forgave him.
Immediately, her mindset jumped up, bringing with it better energy, focus and clarity of mind.
Obviously, it didn’t mean she would forget what had happened but she had genuinely forgiven him. And as it turned out it led to a discussion around forgiving ourselves – but that’s for another day!
Where can you apply the skill of forgiveness this week?
– Because science is now backing it up and it’s worth a lot to you!
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