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“To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate beauty,
to find the best in others;
to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;
to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
My Daughter, Jane, asked me this question last night at the dinner table:
“Dad, what is your definition of success?”
She is in her final year of second level education, and is thinking about her next step.
What I told her is what I’ll share with you.
I think everyone has to figure out their own definition of success and when I was her age I had a very narrow one.
Get the big job. Get an MBA.
Earn the big bucks. Get Married. Live in a nice house.
Retire rich.
The gift of having a breakdown in my 20’s was an opportunity to re-examine why I thought those things.
That’s when things got interesting.
For me, I realised that I’d inherited a blueprint for success that wasn’t mine.
Most of it was from society.
Then I started to ask myself questions like these:
These questions didn’t have immediate answers, but over time, they shaped a new perspective—a definition of success that felt real and more fulfilling to me.
I realised that success wasn’t a checklist of things to do and get but an ongoing journey of alignment with who I really am.
I told Jane that for me now, success means living a life that feels meaningful every day.
It’s about doing work that lights me up, being a supportive partner, parent and friend. It’s about staying connected to what truly matters to me.
I shared with her that success for me isn’t about the destination, but about how we show up along the way.
But I also shared that this was my view of success. She had to figure out hers.
99% of people reading this are unlikely to be a 17 year old teenage girl…:) but I truly believe it’s never too late to ask yourself about your definition of success – and to really examine it. The gifts of doing so could transform your days to come.
To give yourself the gift of time to start exploring your answer to questions like these:
The world will try to tell you what success is, but only you can define it for yourself.
And as for the quote at the start of this post, I shared it with Jane after dinner because I said that it was one that had inspired me many years ago to explore my definition of success.
It’s one of my all-time favourites, and I hope it inspires you too.
Best,
Shane
Explore Your Definition Of Success And Expand it – Join Me For Limitless 2025
If you’re interested in crafting a more inspired vision for your work and life, consider joining me for my new video workshop series ‘Limitless 2025’, which starts in 3 weeks. You’ll be joining me and ambitious leaders keen on stretching their sense of what’s possible – in work, leadership and life. Details and registration here.
The Inner Edge Podcast – Most Recent Episode:
Ep 205: Lighten The F*** Up: Why Taking Yourself Too Seriously Damages Pretty Much Everything!
Listen on my website here or on all major podcasting platforms.
Up Your Game: Have you checked out my online academy? It has a range of products that will help you raise your game in all areas. More details here.
