Are You Trying Too Hard?

“Do not confuse motion and progress. A rocking horse keeps moving but does not make any progress.”

— Alfred A. Montapert

“Your entire experience of life is created by what’s happening in your mind.”

I recently reminded a client of this when they were struggling intensely to solve a problem. They had moved into the zone of ‘trying too hard.’ The level of tension around the issue was so high that it was blocking their clarity and preventing any potential solutions from emerging. And all of this was happening unconsciously.

It’s an intriguing paradox:

When we try too hard, our actions often produce the opposite result of what we intended.

• Trying too hard to be happy can lead to misery.
• Trying too hard to appear attractive usually repels others.
• Trying too hard to be liked can irritate those around us.
• Trying too hard to win might set us up for loss.
• Trying too hard to convince another they’re wrong, sets them more firmly in their viewpoint.
• Trying too hard to secure sales or money can drive opportunities away.
• Trying too hard to achieve success might delay or derail it.
• Trying too hard to find fulfilment can cause frustration, angst and despair.

This phenomenon happens because excessive inner effort creates tension and resistance, which in turn clouds our judgment and affects our natural abilities. It can be challenging to recognise when you’re caught in this trap, but it’s a crucial skill to develop.

Here are a few signs that you might be trying too hard yourself:

• You feel constantly stressed or anxious about an outcome.
• You’re overly focused on the results rather than the process.
• You find yourself micromanaging or unable to delegate.
• Feedback from others suggests you might be pushing too hard.
• You’re not enjoying the journey because you’re too fixated on the destination.

This week, I encourage you to examine where in your life and work you might be trying too hard. What one area can you approach with a lighter touch or greater mindfulness?

Usually less inner effort yields more significant results.

Best,

Shane

The Inner Edge Podcast – Most Recent Episode:

Ep 193: Fire Your Inner Slave Driver

Listen on my website here or on all major podcasting platforms.

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