“This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.” – The character Polonius, in Shakespeare’s Hamlet.
A very close friend of mine passed last Wednesday and I’d like to dedicate this weekly post to him.
His name is Derek Young and even though you’ve likely never heard of him it’s possible that his work has or will in the years to come affect your life or that of someone close to you.
In his work life he was a medical device inventor and entrepreneur, helping surgeons all over the world convert their ideas into products or devices that improved patient care.
He was only 51 and even though he did amazing work in the medical world his real legacy will be as a father, husband, brother and friend.
“Forget about finding your passion.
Focus on bringing more passion to everything you do. Then your passion finds you.”
Last week one of the questions I was asked during my AMA webinar was ‘How do I find my passion?’
There are several layers to this from my perspective but I think it’s one of the red herrings embedded into the psyche of Western culture i.e. that I have to find my passion or purpose.
That is not my experience.
Passion is a state of being, it’s where you are giving your attention 100% to something. The truth is you can bring passion to anything, now.
Yes, even your work if you ‘hate’ it…
Yes, even your relationships…
Yes, even the business or team that is doing your head in…
“If you want to change the world, who do you begin with,
yourself or others?”
– Alexander Solzhenitsyn
“I’ve had enough of these tech companies. They all say they’re going to change the world but most are just full of it.”
So said someone to me recently, who’s business is all about dealing with tech companies.
They went on to tell me that many of the tech CEOs they were dealing with all had the same mantra of ‘We’re going to change the world’ – but in their opinion a lot of them would mess up the world if they succeeded and indeed, they were already messing up the people around them with the way they were behaving.
Perhaps they feel the need to ‘big up’ what their company is doing to attract talent or investors. Or maybe it’s their ego.
But just like we’ve all become de-sensitised to cold calling insurance salespeople, it seems to me that we’ve all become de-sensitised to the ‘changing the world’ mantra.
“Don’t die with the music still in you.”
– Wayne Dyer
It seems to me that the world seems to be set up to keep ‘the music’ stuck inside people.
We can be so focused on what the world tells us is ‘success’ that we lose sight of our own unique expression.
Sometimes letting your music out might mean a complete re-invention. Sometimes it just means showing up more as the real you in your life.
A favourite quote of mine is from Shakespeare “To thine own self be true”, but the truth is that this can be hard in a world that is conditioning you to do the opposite.
“Sound when stretched is music.
Movement when stretched is dance.
Mind when stretched is meditation.
Life when stretched is celebration.”
– Shri Ravishankar Jee
In my mid-twenties, I found myself in challenging mental waters and was lucky enough to have been connected with a skilful counsellor.
At one of our regular Friday sessions, he asked me this question:
“When do you learn most Shane? When things are good or when things are challenging?”
In my naivety, I answered “When things are good because mentally you’re calm and can take things in.”
My counsellor smiled and replied
“I think you’re confusing real learning with school learning.”
“If you hear a voice within you say
‘you cannot paint’, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.”
– Vincent Van Gogh
Sometimes when I use sporting analogies, people who are not into sport don’t like it.
Fair enough – but I AM into sport… 🙂
My own experience has shown me that you can glean insights from any field even if you’re not into them. I’m guessing that’s why I’m very interested in ‘performance’ in general – be it business, sport, music, sales, cooking, writing, tiddlywinks…. 🙂
In my podcast this week, the title is Learning From Golf (Even If You Don’t Like It). In it I share some insights from my own work in that area with top players. The insights are directly relevant to anyone interested in bringing more clarity, success and flow into their lives.
“Allow yourself to experience what it is to learn step by step the freedom that comes from being unattached to the outcome, but operating from an empowered heart.” Gary Zukav
Back in the early 2000’s, I had a business with 2 partners, and our focus was helping sports people to perform better. For a period we focused on golf and partnered with a former match-play world champion, Wayne Westner.
One of the things I remember from Wayne was how to hold a golf club.
It went something like this:
You should think about the club like holding a bird. If you hold it too loose, the bird will fly away. Too tight and you might kill it. The trick is to told it in a way that it stays but feels safe and relaxed. That’s the way to hold a club.
For me it’s also the perfect metaphor for how to think about goals.
“The best way to predict the future is to design it”
– Buckmister Fuller
This time last week I was in the middle of hosting annual retreat for leaders, which was all the more special because of the prolonged delay with the pandemic.
23 unsuspecting victims, I mean clients…,joined me for 3 days in the beautiful village of Carlingford. We hiked, talked, reflected, laughed, listened and learned.
While there is a structure to this retreat I’ve found that there is always an emergent property to the event – themes or ideas will emerge in the moment as the group deepens it’s connection. One of the recurring themes this year was around ‘including yourself in your success’ more.
“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.” – Chinese Proverb
“I’m too far down the road to change now. It’s just the way I am”
So said the smart, ambitious leader to me.
They were referring to why they thought it was impossible for them to change some of their behaviour and habits – especially mental ones.
On one level, at least they were honest in saying what they were thinking.
“The best heroes in the world are the reluctant ones.Courage isn’t fearlessness.It’s acting in the face of fear.”
– Tess Gerritsen
I used to envy people who I thought didn’t experience fear.
But that was an untrue assumption.
I’ve since discovered that people who have achieved or created remarkable things experience fear in the same way as everyone else – they just choose to take action regardless.
