Removing A Key Obstacle To Authenticity

If I had a prayer, it would be this:

“God spare me from the desire for love, approval, or appreciation. Amen.”

Byron Katie

What a statement that is above.

But I know most people would probably think they don’t desire these things as much as they really do. Yet, they are usually pulling the strings of our behaviour in all aspects of our lives.

Fear of doing or saying something is often a symptom of having those desires.

For example, staying in a role you don’t love, avoiding certain conversations, or hesitating to take risks are all signs that we are seeking external validation.

The inauthentic life results from fear of losing love, approval, or appreciation.

This fear impacts impacts our personal relationships and fulfilment but also how we are in business and leadership – in terms of performing at a higher level, being brave, adding more value, getting more sales, reducing stress and ultimately getting better results in any context.

It’s a common human experience, but one that can hold us back from truly living our best lives and creating true, purposeful success.

Here’s some questions to consider:

• If you didn’t want approval at some level, what would you do differently?
• If you didn’t crave appreciation in all its forms and weren’t afraid of not getting it, what would you do that you’re not currently doing?
• If you didn’t crave love in all its forms, where would you be braver?

These are not easy questions to answer, but reflecting on them can reveal areas where fear is holding you back.

Imagine the decisions you would make, the risks you would take, and the conversations you would have if you were not bound by these invisible chains.

As you go through this week, I encourage you to think about where in your life you might be seeking love, approval, or appreciation. (And don’t assume you’re not…)

How might releasing these desires change your actions and decisions?

What steps can you take to start living more authentically today?

Best,

Shane

The Inner Edge Podcast: This week’s episode, Ep 181: The Fight You Can Never Win

Short, bite-sized nuggets of 10-12 minutes, designed to give you motivation and plenty of inspirational food for thought. Listen on my website here or on all major podcasting platforms.

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