The Illusion Trap Which Blocks Your Best


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“I’m not saying I hate all people.

Just the ones that are breathing.”

“I hate my ‘x’”

For ‘x’ you can insert many words.

Here are some examples:

  • Job
  • Business
  • Boss
  • Weight
  • Office
  • Colleagues
  • Customers
  • Industry
  • Wife/Partner/Husband
  • Life!

It’s counter-logical, but allowing the emotion of hate to stay with you is one sure-fire way to make your current situation worse.

The filter we choose to put on a situation/person/event is what we end up creating.

“No, you don’t understand Shane. My ‘x’ worthy of hate because of a, b and c”

That may well be true, but what’s definitely true is that we are the creators of our inner experience of life. We get to choose the emotions that persist. And hate or indeed, any chronic negative emotion, isn’t conducive to getting the best out of yourself in any aspect of your life.

Our options?

1. Don’t fall for the illusion trap. Recognise that hate or any persistent negative emotion often arises from a skewed perception. Take a step back, gain perspective, and ask if there’s another way to view your ‘x’. Sometimes, the problem isn’t the ‘x’ itself but how we’re looking at it.

2. Shift from negative emotion to constructive action. Instead of dwelling on the negative, channel that energy into understanding, improvement, or finding a solution. Chronic negativity is like a poison; right, constructive action is the antidote.

3. Seek support and perspective. Talk to friends, mentors, or professionals who will be straight with you, not just agree with your view. They will help you see your ‘x’ in a different light.

4. Embrace self-compassion. Remember that it’s okay to have challenging emotions, but it’s also within your power to change them. Practice self-compassion and forgiveness, allowing yourself to move forward.

This week, perhaps consider if there’s an ‘x’ in your life you’ve labeled with a persistent negative filter.

Maybe it’s time to change that label?

By doing so, you might unlock new opportunities and create a more positive inner experience.



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This week’s episode: 144: A Different Take On Listening