If you’re on my mailing list a while you’ll know that I’ve written a couple of stage plays and while people have been very complimentary on them, they don’t see the ‘inner wrestling’ that was part of the journey to creating them.
Creating those plays taught me a lot about myself.
The most recent one, The Waiting Room, was an idea in my mind for 7 years before I started writing it. The truth is I kept telling myself a lie for too long which held me back from starting.
It wasn’t until I was talking with one of my mentors that I realised something – I was procrastinating, waiting for the ‘perfect time’ to start. I had fallen into the ‘mental trap’ that I often help my clients get out of…. getting stuck in the ‘what’s the path to make this happen?’. And this creates indecision.
The only decision to make… is the decision to begin.
I’ve started taking a slight interest in gardening recently and I am finding it surprisingly therapeutic and ‘grounding’. (words I never thought I would ever write or say…)
It was triggered by a problem that had emerged when myself and TLJ* had put down new grass in an area of our garden. Surprisingly for Ireland, there has been very little rain over the last month (that issue has been solved as of today as it’s pouring outside!) and that, combined with a lot of sun in this area of the garden meant that the grass was dying.
So we took to regularly watering this area and the grass is recovering, bringing with it a lovely green sheen and vibrancy.
If you’re a fan of sport you will have heard all about the saga of the ‘Super League’ but even if you’re not, you most likely will have heard about it as it made headlines globally for all of last week.
In essence, 12 of the biggest soccer teams in Europe made it public that they were creating a new league that they would control, could never be relegated from and would depart the premier competition in Europe, The Champions League.
Within 2 days of that announcement it was dead in the water.
“Reality is what we take to be true.
What we take to be true is what we believe.
What we believe is based upon our perceptions.
What we perceive depends upon what we look for.
What we look for depends upon what we think.
What we think depends upon what we perceive.
What we perceive depends upon what we believe.
What we believe determines what we take to be true.
What we take to be true is our reality.”
– David Bohm
This quote by the American scientist, who has been described as one of the most significant theoretical physicists of the 20th century, is profound and worth re-reading many, many times. When I first read it, it stopped me in my tracks.
In essence it is saying that reality, or what we perceive as reality, is completely made up – by our minds.
So for example…
As regular readers of this weekly mail will know, I’m a big fan of sport – and in particular those who persist against the odds to succeed.
So it should be no surprise that today the focus is on an incredible woman, Rachael Blackmore, who won the English Grand National on Saturday – becoming the first woman jockey to ever do so.
By winning she sent a clear message to the sports world to judge people on their merits and not on whether they are male, female or any other gender.
What I love about her journey so far is that she isn’t a child prodigy now achieving what was expected of her.
As a mentor of mine once said to me about our most important relationships when an argument emerges….
“You can focus on who’s right or you can focus on the relationship. Where you put your focus determines if he relationship dies or thrives.”
It stunned me with it’s truth.
Fear never brings out the best in people.
If you imagine a continuum, where at one end is fear and the other is safety.
It’s worth watching where you are on that, and also where the people around you are.
A little fear in’t the worst thing, but if it’s at the far end of the continuum it will impair performance and results.
When fear has a hold on you, it’s impossible to live in alignment with your authentic self – to bring out your best.
“Your blindspots are the things that really hurt you.” I was sitting in a meeting with a client, someone I have huge respect for and we were discussing the concept of blind-spots. “I know what my blind-spots are”, they commented. “Tell me more”, I replied. They listed a few things that they considered areas to…
“Where you’re coming from,
is much more important than where you’re going to.”
I said the above to a client and she looked at me like I had 10 heads.
As someone who has a reputation for helping people to get to where they want to go faster, this was understandably confusing to this smart but very stressed woman.
I went on to explain that I’ve seen people win awards, make millions, create the body shape they love, grow and sell businesses, but it was usually tainted with where they were coming from.
A few years ago I was giving a talk in Dublin and afterwards I was approached by a very shy man.
He told me that he dreamed of being a successful speaker but didn’t know how to overcome his fear of public speaking.
Slight issue there indeed…. 🙂
The comedian Jerry Seinfeld once said that most people would rather be in the coffin than deliver the eulogy – this is because the majority of people fear public speaking more than death!
I shared with the man that I used to be terrified of public speaking.